Our Baby

This March, my husband and I were elated to discover that we are expecting our second child. This baby is due on November 26, 2010, two days after our son Nathan's second birthday and the day after Thanksgiving!

But this journey is not without a few bumps, cliffs, and collapsing bridges.

At our 10 week ultrasound, we discovered that there was blood around the amniotic sack. The doctors believe that it was old blood from when the placenta attached to the uterine wall, and it fully explained the spotting I had been having. They diagnosed me with a subchorianic hemorrhage, told me to take it easy, and that I should come back in month or so for another ultrasound just to check on it.

Then, at 14 weeks, I suddenly started bleeding heavily. After calling my doctor, I decided to head to the ER. I filled over 7 pads in just under two hours, and I was certain that our baby is gone. I was in such a panic that I couldn't think clearly. When I got to the ER, with my son in his stroller because I had been unable to reach someone to watch him, I finally had to say the words, "I think I am having a miscarriage." I wasn't the first or the last that night who came in saying those words, but I was the only one they took seriously.

In the ER I was given a catheter (so that they could fill and unfill my bladder at will with cold saline solution for an ultrasound) and an internal. (I am not sure which was worse, but if pressed I would say the catheter, because they freak me out.) The ultrasound techs almost didn't take me because the ER doc said I was a "Tiny" bit dilated. I think he forgot that I had already had a child, even though he saw my son right before my father picked him up.

Then I had to leave my husband in the hospital room while they wheeled me down for one of their longest ultrasounds on record. They spent over two and a half hours trying to get the pictures they needed, and what they did get they interpreted incorrectly. They filled and unfilled my bladder, which is both cold and slightly painful, to try and get better images. Then they still couldn't find my placenta, so they pulled out the transvaginal ultrasound wand just to up the torture level a bit. Although I was obviously bleeding, they swore they couldn't find a source. They also didn't inform my husband about what was going on, so he was in the dark for almost three hours! He didn't know if our baby was alive our dead, how I was doing, or even where I was!

Since I have a CHD (congenital heart defect), I had already had an appointment with a high risk OB for the next week. My husband came to my appointment with me, and this appointment was so different from all my others.

We had an awesome ultrasound, with a brand new machine and a tech who loves her job. Then we met with the MFM, who went over the ultrasounds in minute detail. We discovered that the placenta had started to detach from the uterine wall on one corner, which caused all of my bleeding. There is also blood still in the uterine cavity, outside the gestational sack. So I will be spotting until it all comes out, which will probably be at the end of my pregnancy. He also told me that what the techs in the ER had labeled as my placenta was actually the bleed itself. (Apparently new blood on ultrasound appears as white.) But they should have figured that out, since my placenta would have then went 2/3s of the way around my uterus. (Ummm... hello?) The doctor also gave me his cell number, in case I had any more problems, because he wants to be there so that this doesn't happen again.

So now I have lifting restrictions, am on modified bed rest, and am not certain that this journey will end with the cuddly baby that I had envisioned. I am not sure which of the possible outcomes scares me the most, but I do believe that with God's help we will make it through this. We just have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to be over, it's about learning how to dance in the rain." -Unknown.